TOG247 Christmas Party

[Pipeman]

As you are all aware, this was held last weekend.:D

Is it your wish that my writeup on it be posted now, or should we wait until after Christmas?:rofl:

[Harold2]

lets have it now old chap

[Marvin]

Whenever you are ready Ron. I will need reminding what everyone got up to 'cos I got too rat-faced to remember any of it. Hope I behaved myself, if not, apologies all round... :o

[miffy]

No, you didn't behave yourself, you naughty boy!! I saw Jeni, Gel & Stef in Boots today, buying pregnancy testing kits !!!! :rolleyes: ;)

YES PLEASE RON !!!!!!!!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!:D I loved the last one!!!!:top:

xxjan

[badbadman]

No, you didn't behave yourself, you naughty boy!! I saw Jeni, Gel & Stef in Boots today, buying pregnancy testing kits !!!! :rolleyes: ;)

YES PLEASE RON !!!!!!!!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!:D I loved the last one!!!!:top:

xxjan


Could've been worse.........they could have been wearing slippers. :D

[Pipeman]

Right then, here goes - if I have not offended you then I apologise in advance.

I have tried to include everyone but some folk just couldn't face coming!

The 2009 Tog247 Christmas Party.

The Christmas Party was held this year in the Hairy Elephant House in an upmarket district of Dewsbury. Well, as near as you can get to an upmarket area in Dewsbury, by kind invitation of Paul, better known as Yorkshire Tyke.

Music was provided by resident organist Scottie, who had tried to convince his friend Katherine Jenkins to cancel her booking at Neath Working Men’s Club to join us, but failed, so he brought one of his dancing squirrels instead. Clem was negotiating image rights with him on behalf of the squirrels which seem to commute regularly between their two properties.

Nigel was on the door to keep out any interlopers and in view of the cold weather he was pleased to be wearing his Two Steeples Pure Wool Underwear from Biltshill. Harold was his companion on the door and complained about the draughts getting through his string underpants which Pat had bought him. He was going to change them for an umpiring coat as soon as Asda opened, although Stewart reckoned that might be even draughtier.

Beejee had flown in fresh from his holiday in Mexico and after a short refuelling stop at Elvington Airport to see John’s acting photoshoot, had continued his flight and spotted Shaun on top of the Post Office Tower as he flew in. Shaun had taken a break from his studies and mushrooming business interests to find a good position for candid bird shots, but was unsure whether to use the Canon or the Nikon. Stewart suggested the Canon as it would kill more pigeons.

It was a raw night, and James the skateboard togging fashion photographer, was spotted drunk in the snow yet again, chasing Ann’s Labrador Bruno, who in turn was making a dash for Roy’s two cats, Blue and Pip. The cats were all happy as Stewart’s two were joining in and running around like loonies as well. They all ended up sitting in the rafters with the squirrels, throwing nuts at Bruno.

Josh got quite a few nuts thrown at him too – TOG247 members thought that his paper on Permeable Pavements, although the talk of Brazil, was not the best subject for the after dinner speech.

Gel and Dave meanwhile, were discussing the problems of computers, Gel because she had recently lost her broadband and Dave because he had brought the hard drive that he claimed Lee, his missus, had dropped, and he was trying to fix it with sellotape and help from Colin, the famous electrical engineer, who had taken time off from his creative writing course to come along. Colin reckoned that it would be a flook if Dave’s hard drive ever worked again!

Ann had helped restore Gel’s broadband as they are both into restoration and had recently restored a piccie of a lovely little girl called Gel.

Miffy, recovering from her recent back injury, ordered Kim a large drink in recognition of Kim’s recent and wonderful Florence Nightingale impression, but went a bit over the top, which is unusual for her. She bought her a five gallon barrel of good Ee –by-gum Yorkshire ale.

Kim thought this a little too much but John, the giant bearded servant from Twelfth Night explained that when you ask for a big drink in Yorkshire then that’s what you get! Kim tried hard to drink it but in the end had to give in and borrow Janet’s crutch both to walk and conduct Scottie on the organ.

Ben said that he had never heard Ilkla Moor played like that before but Fidget, his respected Mum, gave him a clip around the ear with Biker’s flat cap and told him to mind his manners when in a foreign country. It transpired that Biker and Scottie had met previously when Biker was imprisoned for taking photographs in Winchester and Scottie had been sent down on a similar charge.

Anyway, they all retired to help Kim with her five gallon barrel of good Ee-by-gum Yorkshire ale.

Jeni, fresh from trying to sort out the white balance on her friend’s photographs, was trying to get five minutes peace from Josh who was being tormented by Danny and Jess as they raced around using Josh’s pushchair as transport. They bumped into Bryan who was moaning that he had too much work on with all those weddings and said he was forever chasing money! Sarah wanted to help him but explained that she was doing a gig shoot featuring The Five Finger Death Punch group for a musical magazine edited by her boyfriend, and anyway, she couldn’t balance herself at the moment, never mind Bryan’s cash book!

Sally and Stef were busily preparing sandwiches and sausage rolls. Sally (Ann) had brought back some fantastic recipes from Austria, especially one for Marmorguglhupf.

Snaphappy called his Mum on his mobile and returned to explain in a knowledgeable manner that Marmorguglhupf is Marble cake to those not acquainted with "Österreichische Küche" - Austrian cuisine to those like PurplePaul who don’t speak German.

Nigel’s missus, Sylvia, joined them in the kitchen as she reckoned that Nigel looked a right twerp stood at the door in his Two Steeples Pure Wool Underwear from Biltshill. Cindy disagreed, she’s all into experimenting and felt that he looked rather cool in his outfit, but not as cool as Harold in his string underpants!

For obvious reasons, Kim and Janet were banned from the kitchen as they were still fighting that five gallon barrel of good Ee-by-gum Yorkshire ale, and by now they were offering to fight anyone in the House, including the hairy elephants!

Janet is an acknowledged expert on focussing cameras and was eager to explain to Emma that to focus properly with the 300D you had to first shake it and then dip it in good Ee-by-gum Yorkshire ale whilst standing on a chair.

Keith, very busy at the moment, arrived without his woolly hat and in a delighted manner told the assembled throng that since his hair transplant he didn’t need his woolly hat any more and could even get showered without it. Cindy ventured the opinion that he was a bit old for an Elvis quiff.

Stef had been quiet throughout the evening as she was pondering upon just what she had been thinking of when she and Ben had set up TOG247 as a safe haven for normal people (and Harold and Janet), those few short months ago, but upon seeing how much everyone was enjoying themselves she livened up and had a few drinks of good Ee-by-gum Yorkshire ale, with lime, in a ladies glass of course.

People began to wonder where Pipeman had got to, and he was eventually found sleeping in a corner, pint of good Ee-by-gum Yorkshire ale in one hand and his little black book in the other.

I bet that he was going to write all about the party!

[Marvin]

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Ron. You really have put my mind at rest now.

I was starting to get very worried because since then I have been itching an awful lot in some you-know-where places. I honestly thought I had caught something from someone but I couldn't remember who.. or what. :o

Now I can blame it on the Two Steeples Pure Wool Underwear from Biltshill. I suppose I had better take them off before they shrink. :rolleyes:

[miffy]

Hic--dat wasz a lovly shtory-hic- of a stonking bit of a do-hic :beercheer:

:rofl:ABSOLUTELY brilliant, Ron!! How do you remember all our little nuances & foibles???????? Who's got dogs & their names--who's got cats & how many--who's pc is broken--and that long ago guess what with the two steeples advert (bloody hell, fancy remembering that--I was in fits of giggles when i read that bit !!) --LOVED the squirrel bits !!:rofl: I read it out to Kim over the phone late last night as she didn't have her pc on, & i had to keep stopping to laugh & to say, " HOW does he remember"--& " God, he's brilliant,isn't he?"
Do you make little notes for months beforehand, or spend DAYS laboriously going through all of the posts, or, as i suspect, you are just AMAZING ??????????:top::D

An hilarious read, a stonking piece of journalism--and BLOODY WELL DONE,Ron!!!:hugs:

xxjan

[Harold2]

well done Ron. I have just one question, who took my string underpants while i was sleeping it of and placed a big poster some-ware to save my Modesty?:rofl:

[Marvin]

I seem to remember, rather fuzzily though, that Josh wouldn't shut up about the Permeable Paving and a bunch of people wanted to string him up. I think that's where your string underpants went Harold..

[Gel403]

Brillaint Ron!!!!!! you must have a fantastic memory, either that, or as Jan says you trawl the post to remind yourself. Either way i had a bit of a chuckle to myself reading it :rofl: :top:

[badbadman]

Was Shaun wearing a little Red number?

[sharkbait]

Was Shaun wearing a little Red number?
:rofl:

[kooky]

Sorry for getting a little drunk at the party:o


:DBRILLIANT RON, JUST BRILLIANT:D you really must join in more next time though:p

[Sarah]

An absolute cracker of a night!

Awesome write up ron!

[cindy]

Yes I am into experimenting but on hindsight I think Nigel's outfit went a little too far - a bit frightening if you ask me! Harold's string quartet was hilarious. As for Keith's would be impersonation of Elvis I had to down a whole bottle of Chablis to get over it - the cheek!:shocked:

I remember having a lovely time especially since I hadn't seen everyone for ages, but Ron, did you know that whilst you were sleeping out back we all had a peek at your little black book :shocked: but we promise to keep stumm about the next gathering you have planned!